Social rituals

I find that most people that engage in debates and arguments are just doing it to make themselves feel better(either to portray an image of themselves or to feel smart), and so sometimes when I argue my point it does give some sort of impression that I just want an argument for the hell of it when in truth I just want to dig out more from the other party by stating contradictions. Having said that, this kind of social ritual is somewhat meaningless and non-productive, if our view of reality is somewhat distorted and reality is not constant then its not worth the effort proving a point that may not last. If your views are nearer to the truth, than it will reflect in your achievements and actions. My problem is, I find a lot of social rituals a waste of time, take say dating, there is a ritual that needs to be performed at the right sequence in which each sequence have to mature before you progress forward to the next sequence. (no I ain't talking about marriage its a different beast and I don't know about it) A friend of mine I met while offshore told me how he got his wife, within 3 days of meeting they decide not to waste time and just get married. I personally don't agree with hasty decisions but I like his idea of not wasting time on meaningless social rituals and get on with life.

Most personality types enjoy social rituals like flirting, small talks.... They do serve a purpose, for example the true reason why we flirt is to find out more about the persons intellect, is she witty? Is she in control of her own head? and generally its fun! All seemingly innocent social rituals have a purpose. Subconsciously in a group we tend to find the alpha male or female... more dominant personality will make sure he/she establish that and that all the rest will know it. How he does it? through seemingly innocent small talks.... I guess we humans are like wolf packs in which there are social hierarchy and the way to establish it is not through election, strangely its through a social ritual I call social positioning. When an alpha woman or man makes a seemingly innocent joke about someone in the group and the rest laugh, its usually to make that guy/girl conform to the alpha man's rules in a very subtle way. Its not obvious and unless someone have spend time learning this rituals no one will notice but through non-innocent words their heart and head will be moved without them knowing. There are many more examples that sounds like direct manipulations but I will just end and conclude here. Humans are a strange bunch, we are not direct in our intentions but when we want our way in a group we naturally utilize social rituals to stealthily control a group.... seen that too many times. I concluded that as sinister as it sounds on 1st impression, it serves a good purpose in society, because of the way we are made we will be chaotic without a system of hierarchy that will provide the rules and orders, be it in an organization, a group of friends or a cheerleader squad. Therefore God probably place those tendency in our heads to enable us to live together, a social hierarchy to keep the order.